Happy X Nature Skyglow Jumpsuit

I was so excited by my recent order that I had to share this immediately.  Kate Hudson just debuted her new brand, Happy X Nature, which is an eco-friendly fashion line that nicely compliments her other outstanding lines that I have already fallen hard for, including Fabletics (don’t even get me started on how much I love those damn leggings!).  Anyways, upon opening my shipping bag, I immediately fell in love with my new Skyglow Jumpsuit in Recycled Polyester.  My beautiful jumpsuit arrived in size 8 today and I can’t believe how well it fit.  It is almost as if it is tailored to my body and meant to be worn by yours truly.  I am ecstatic with the purchase and looking forward to wearing it at Hugo’s cousin’s wedding in July ♥

Maybe it is right in front of me

As odd as it may sound, what I have been whining about seeking, while on my quest to find my true passions and a possible career change, may be right in front of me.  Literally, it might be the keyboard I am typing on and the screen I am staring at on a daily basis as I grind away at my loving blog.  Moaning on and on to you, my loyal readers, I have continued to explain in detail about my heartfelt pursuit of self-employment, meaningful work days and something to motivate and excite me again.  Maybe, just maybe, what I have been looking for is right here.  What I am suggesting is this – maybe I am supposed to be a writer.

Let’s face it, I like to write and I am not the worst at it.  Whether you enjoy listening to me vent about my random feelings, thoughts and dreams, I really enjoy jotting it all down, packaging it up and slinging it onto the information superhighway that is my mildly trafficked site.  I have been writing for the entirety of my life and it has always originated from a place of honesty and rawness, only done whenever I felt the need and about topics that came from my inner being.  Because of this, it is one of the most enjoyable activities I have in my life and I realize how true this is, even more so now, in 2020.

While I can’t make any money off doing this (because, let’s be honest, who is going to pay me to chat about how much I love my Hugo and how much I despise all of the ignorant ridiculous things I observe every day), I intend to continue doing what my long fingers seek – type away as if I was a trained pianist, sometimes not fast enough to keep up with my racing brain’s output.  Just the fact that I came a little bit closer to realizing what makes me happy, well, that’s a pretty great thing.  And boy do I have something to say (about nine topics in my queue as of tonight) so stand by…

Twenty twenty

Happy New Year (plus three days) to anyone out there in this vast universe that is reading this.  As I always appear to be doing, I continue to marinate on all of the tasks I have left undone, all of the places and opportunities I want to explore, and, most importantly, how I want to devote the remainder of my time here on Earth.  I am about to receive an email from the California Department of Real Estate, that will allow me to schedule my state exam, and I am very excited about that finally happening.  With a new chapter of my life looming in the near future, I am antsy to begin.  Part of me wants to quit my job, jump head first into the real estate ocean, and give it everything I have.  The other practical part, which also has Hugo’s voice of reason anchored at the core, knows I should get licensed and begin working, while maintaining my current career.  Basically, see how it goes before fully committing and risking everything I have worked extremely hard for.  In short, it is tough because I feel this entrepreneurial fire burning in my soul and I am resounding to not grab the proverbial fire extinguisher.

Hugo and I finished out 2019 as strong as ever and that is my most proud accomplishment of the year.  After nearly sixteen years together, we grew even closer this year.  Not an easy feat after so much life together.  He has impressed me since the day I met him but the fact that he continues to age so beautifully, both on the inside and on the surface, is astonishing.  He has a heart of gold and he pours it into everything he does.  He showers me in kindness, care and love in everything he does, from cooking me gourmet vegetarian dishes to listening to me go on and on about my thoughts, fears and goals, on a daily basis.  I am so happy to have met him and even more thankful to call him my husband.

As the year drew to a close, we discussed what our collective relationship resolutions would be for this new decade.  We celebrated how far we have come and expressed the deep love we have for each other.  Love is the most vital aspect of existence and it permeates every culture and all species – we relished in the fact that ours is strong, healthy and meant to be.  He is my soulmate and I am his.  We looked into each other’s eyes and gazed upon the bodies that house the person we love the most.  As we did so, we resounded to continue trying to be better for one another, to communicate more effectively, to finish discussions respectfully rather than destructively engage in arguments, and to always make one another the top priority.  I am so impressed with having a partner who wants to keep growing, both personally and as a couple, with me.  If after 16 years together we have gotten to this place, I am excited to see where we go from here and lucky to be his wife and partner ♥

My hopes for this year, beyond my career and relationship aspirations, include the following items (some of them may appear cliche and to that I say, yeah!…cliche just means that a lot of people strive for similar things and that only makes me feel more united with those around me):  Take better care of myself, physically, mentally and spiritually.  Pursue my dreams of having more animals in our family.  Garden better and more beautifully around our home, for our visual pleasure and for the love of the thriving hummingbirds and others who call our organic acreage their home too.  Explore more of what Los Angeles, the United States of America and our globe has to offer.  Try new activities like falconry (we just discussed our plans for this today).  Visit more museums and read my unfinished books around the house.  And, finally, write more often.  All of my wants are positivity-fueled pursuits that are fun to me.  In fact, over the past couple weeks, I found my brain  dribbling out writing ideas that just kept coming to me – as they did, I jotted down notes on my cell phone, scribbled on scratch paper I have in every room of the house, and typed up email reminders of must-have blog post ideas.  My brain and heart want to speak so this audience better get ready to listen.

I wish the world more of what I am blessed to already have.  Hopefully you can understand who I am well enough by now to know that I do not intend to appear pretentious when I say that.  I only wish love for those without it in their hearts and lives.  Many people are walking alone in this world and they crave friendship and romance.  To them, I wish them a 2020 filled with new beginnings that will lead to love in their lives.  And to those in the world who do not treat others with love, by being unkind, rude, disrespectful, or, even worse, with hate, bias or violence, I wish more love into their hearts as well.  If we could all just learn to lead with love, many of our collective world problems would naturally dissipate into a thing of the past.  Finally, I wish more love onto all corners of our planet because we abuse her with toxic chemicals, deforestation, hurting the animals and ruining our oceans.  As everyone hears every day, we must act now to make significant changes in our world and that begins by loving the place we call home.  Let us all resolve to take better care of one another and our beautiful Earth as we embark on this new decade.

A great feeling

I am sitting here on the couch, marinating in candlelight, a Real Housewives of Atlanta rerun and the fact that I just finished my third and final real estate course, as required by the California Department of Real Estate for salesperson licensing!  Wow, that was a long sentence but boy it felt good to type out!

Now my upcoming plans entail submitting my application and required documentation for my state examination, which appears like it won’t happen until after our December trip to Costa Rica, due to a high volume of applications being submitted to the CalDRE (their words, not mine).  Oh well, it will happen eventually.  Really wish it would happen on the sooner side, so I could finally put all of this studying behind me and actually start learning about buying and selling properties but I know it will all come together in due time.  Thankfully I am not relying on this new real estate pursuit as my sole income-producing career so I don’t have that kind of stress on me right now.  While I wouldn’t mind leaving my day (and night) job right now, real estate will be essentially a supplement to my life at this point.  If and when it turns into something more, I will reassess and make those vital decisions then.

Thankfully, I have the utmost support from those around, just as I do for every decision, crossroads or hiccup I have ever had in life.  Not only do my parents always support and cheer me on through it all, but Hugo also pushes and encourages me, despite the current goal on my plate.  I have said it before and I will continue to say it again – I am so thankful for the love and confidence they have in me.  Without them, I would be nothing and I truly believe that.

Sleepy but still studying

Another long day at work, followed by an afternoon of puppy-sitting (which isn’t a job but it is work), dinner, and real estate coursework until bedtime.  I am really enjoying being busy these days, as I inch closer and closer towards being a licensed agent in California.  At the end of all this, I will have not only completed my Bachelor’s degree this year, which happens to be my 35th on the planet earth, but I will also be able to add real estate licensee to my list of professional accomplishments.  And please don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to brag or come across as being cocky – I am just happy and proud of myself for pursuing my dreams, sticking to it all day after night after day, and accomplishing the things I set out to do.  Like everyone in this world, I have failed many times on countless other endeavors so this time, in addition to many more, I intend to get it right.

With one class completed and my second class 37% finished (that’s an approximation folks), I am finding peace and excitement with the process.  Nervous to take the state test in a couple months and there is literally not much I can do to quell my anxiety about it.  With a high failure rate, the test is mildly intimidating;  if real estate was my sole pursuit right now I would be much more scared of the impending test date but since I am still employed with steady income, I can rest a little bit easier.  My whole life isn’t hinging on this new chapter so it is all elective, which makes it much more calming and fun.  I like to push myself so even if I have to take the final California Real Estate Licensee test a few times, I will just chalk it up to solid practice and a good story to tell later on down the road in my upcoming lucrative real estate career.

But for now, I am going to log out of my online course website, enjoy a final cup of tea, and drift off to bed.  Need to grab a couple hours of sleep before I start my Thursday morning at 3am in downtown LA – even the rats don’t get up that early…goodnight!

All I can think about

Yesterday, while finishing up my lunch break at work, my least favorite supervisor walked into our conference room, sat down, and proceeded to ruin the remainder of my Wednesday and, so far, all of my Thursday!  The jerk was single-handedly able to do this by being rude and condescending, two things I really haven’t experienced from a coworker during my twelve year tenure on the job.  I am happy to say I am not familiar with being treated poorly but it broke my heart nonetheless.  I felt angry and sad, as well as embarrassed, although I had no reason to be.  He made me feel very uncomfortable in my own skin and all I wanted to do was leave.  And leave I did.

The short few minutes, that resulted in hours of anxiety and anger for me in the following days, were all the result of my supervisor telling an awful story, for the 3rd time, about how he ‘beat’ his mildly aggressive Rottweiler with a baseball bat when he was younger.  He described in lurid detail how the adolescent dog, whom he had essentially ignored by gifting it to his son and leaving it to live outside during its formative years, growled at him when he went to feed him his dinner.  Being the alpha male that he is and was, my violent superior grabbed his nearby bat and hit the dog a couple times – when he described this moment, he even yelped out to reenact how the dog screamed while being beaten.

As I heard this frightful story yet again, I stood with a straight face, refusing to laugh alongside him as my other two moronic coworkers did (which struck me as a desperate attempt to seek the storyteller’s approval).  My supervisor noticed I wasn’t amused by his awful actions so he proceeded to tell me how beating a dog is necessary to training and how I would never be able to handle a canine of this caliber.

I didn’t know where to begin and I found myself, as I do in these scenarios, not saying exactly what I would like to say.  While I told him I would have handled things differently (to put it lightly), I wanted to tell him how he is an asshole.  I also wanted to tell him that he is a pathetic excuse of a man, I have zero respect for him, and I cannot wait for him to leave our place of work when he retires at the end of this month.  Finally, I wanted to hit him with a baseball bat while I provided some dog training tips to him for the future.

The whole thing made me so mad – knowing the pup was treated inhumanely, watching people laugh about it as if it was funny, and his condescension and outlandish ability to actually flip the script on me, as if I was in the wrong.  Things like this will bother me for days, as it already has.  I struggle with being around people who make me upset, in any shape or form, because all I want to do is separate myself from stress, anger, sadness or worry.  Life is too short and there are too many wonderful people to consume ourselves with (like Hugo ♥) – no one needs a negative, evil human being in their midst.  I sure as hell don’t.

I believe the Statute of Limitations in California is up on this story, since it happened a couple decades ago.  Plus, the victim has since passed away – makes me sad for him, just knowing he had to go through that, all alone in the world, with his trust in the very man that hurt him.  It pains my heart that it happened and it hurts to watch him laugh in unison with others, as he reminisced about his brutal tale.  He ruined the following days in my life, as I cried inside for the dog and for the way he made me feel.  I know I shouldn’t feel badly but I do.  Hopefully a little more time, some hugs from my own loving pooches, and his upcoming retirement will make it all better.

 

1/3rd done…almost…

Nearly five weeks into my real estate coursework and I am about to complete my first course.  And now that I am on the verge of completing my first, 45-hour class, I can say, based on experience, that the three required courses of study in California are no joke (Thank goodness I chose the fabulous online format that I did – Real Estate Express has been easy to navigate and a breeze to use for several hours on a daily basis).

Now, that’s not to say that the material is incredibly difficult or taxing to learn but it is just a little bit more time-consuming than I had initially imagined it would be.  Regardless, I am genuinely enjoying learning about a new topic; for the entirety of my adult life, I have been fully engrossed with and consumed by my present career, meaning that all of my learning and focus has been on that sole topic.  Because of that, it is overwhelmingly refreshing to be soaking up something fresh.

I am also proud of myself for doing just that – soaking up something fresh.  At a time in my life when I could easily sit back and become lazy, both in terms of my personal growth and career, it is satisfying to my soul to not do either.  And to top it off, Hugo wrote me a beautiful card the other day, which was accompanied by a bouquet of colorful flowers and a delicious dinner, that said how proud he was of me and that I am an inspiration.  While that isn’t my goal, it makes my internal smile shine bright knowing that my partner is impressed with my pursuits.

As a parting, extremely girly, side note – I was about to spell check this post and sling it your way when a tv ad fulfilled its mission and caught my attention.  Within seconds I found myself scrolling through the advertised website – FabFitFun.  It is actually a really fun idea, that I may just order for myself.  In a nutshell, for roughly $50 per shipment, four times per year, a young lady, or young man (or old folks for that matter!), gets a box delivered with a varied assortment of premium products, such as makeup, clothing, and accessories.  The unknown factor is what always interests me about business ideas like this, because it exposes the recipient to items they may not otherwise discover through their routine shopping excursions.  Anyways, that was a little off topic but I thought I would share it because it looks like fun.  Oh, before I forget, the ad mentioned using code PARTY for $10 off…enjoy! ♥