Sleepy but still studying

Another long day at work, followed by an afternoon of puppy-sitting (which isn’t a job but it is work), dinner, and real estate coursework until bedtime.  I am really enjoying being busy these days, as I inch closer and closer towards being a licensed agent in California.  At the end of all this, I will have not only completed my Bachelor’s degree this year, which happens to be my 35th on the planet earth, but I will also be able to add real estate licensee to my list of professional accomplishments.  And please don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to brag or come across as being cocky – I am just happy and proud of myself for pursuing my dreams, sticking to it all day after night after day, and accomplishing the things I set out to do.  Like everyone in this world, I have failed many times on countless other endeavors so this time, in addition to many more, I intend to get it right.

With one class completed and my second class 37% finished (that’s an approximation folks), I am finding peace and excitement with the process.  Nervous to take the state test in a couple months and there is literally not much I can do to quell my anxiety about it.  With a high failure rate, the test is mildly intimidating;  if real estate was my sole pursuit right now I would be much more scared of the impending test date but since I am still employed with steady income, I can rest a little bit easier.  My whole life isn’t hinging on this new chapter so it is all elective, which makes it much more calming and fun.  I like to push myself so even if I have to take the final California Real Estate Licensee test a few times, I will just chalk it up to solid practice and a good story to tell later on down the road in my upcoming lucrative real estate career.

But for now, I am going to log out of my online course website, enjoy a final cup of tea, and drift off to bed.  Need to grab a couple hours of sleep before I start my Thursday morning at 3am in downtown LA – even the rats don’t get up that early…goodnight!

All I can think about

Yesterday, while finishing up my lunch break at work, my least favorite supervisor walked into our conference room, sat down, and proceeded to ruin the remainder of my Wednesday and, so far, all of my Thursday!  The jerk was single-handedly able to do this by being rude and condescending, two things I really haven’t experienced from a coworker during my twelve year tenure on the job.  I am happy to say I am not familiar with being treated poorly but it broke my heart nonetheless.  I felt angry and sad, as well as embarrassed, although I had no reason to be.  He made me feel very uncomfortable in my own skin and all I wanted to do was leave.  And leave I did.

The short few minutes, that resulted in hours of anxiety and anger for me in the following days, were all the result of my supervisor telling an awful story, for the 3rd time, about how he ‘beat’ his mildly aggressive Rottweiler with a baseball bat when he was younger.  He described in lurid detail how the adolescent dog, whom he had essentially ignored by gifting it to his son and leaving it to live outside during its formative years, growled at him when he went to feed him his dinner.  Being the alpha male that he is and was, my violent superior grabbed his nearby bat and hit the dog a couple times – when he described this moment, he even yelped out to reenact how the dog screamed while being beaten.

As I heard this frightful story yet again, I stood with a straight face, refusing to laugh alongside him as my other two moronic coworkers did (which struck me as a desperate attempt to seek the storyteller’s approval).  My supervisor noticed I wasn’t amused by his awful actions so he proceeded to tell me how beating a dog is necessary to training and how I would never be able to handle a canine of this caliber.

I didn’t know where to begin and I found myself, as I do in these scenarios, not saying exactly what I would like to say.  While I told him I would have handled things differently (to put it lightly), I wanted to tell him how he is an asshole.  I also wanted to tell him that he is a pathetic excuse of a man, I have zero respect for him, and I cannot wait for him to leave our place of work when he retires at the end of this month.  Finally, I wanted to hit him with a baseball bat while I provided some dog training tips to him for the future.

The whole thing made me so mad – knowing the pup was treated inhumanely, watching people laugh about it as if it was funny, and his condescension and outlandish ability to actually flip the script on me, as if I was in the wrong.  Things like this will bother me for days, as it already has.  I struggle with being around people who make me upset, in any shape or form, because all I want to do is separate myself from stress, anger, sadness or worry.  Life is too short and there are too many wonderful people to consume ourselves with (like Hugo ♥) – no one needs a negative, evil human being in their midst.  I sure as hell don’t.

I believe the Statute of Limitations in California is up on this story, since it happened a couple decades ago.  Plus, the victim has since passed away – makes me sad for him, just knowing he had to go through that, all alone in the world, with his trust in the very man that hurt him.  It pains my heart that it happened and it hurts to watch him laugh in unison with others, as he reminisced about his brutal tale.  He ruined the following days in my life, as I cried inside for the dog and for the way he made me feel.  I know I shouldn’t feel badly but I do.  Hopefully a little more time, some hugs from my own loving pooches, and his upcoming retirement will make it all better.

 

1/3rd done…almost…

Nearly five weeks into my real estate coursework and I am about to complete my first course.  And now that I am on the verge of completing my first, 45-hour class, I can say, based on experience, that the three required courses of study in California are no joke (Thank goodness I chose the fabulous online format that I did – Real Estate Express has been easy to navigate and a breeze to use for several hours on a daily basis).

Now, that’s not to say that the material is incredibly difficult or taxing to learn but it is just a little bit more time-consuming than I had initially imagined it would be.  Regardless, I am genuinely enjoying learning about a new topic; for the entirety of my adult life, I have been fully engrossed with and consumed by my present career, meaning that all of my learning and focus has been on that sole topic.  Because of that, it is overwhelmingly refreshing to be soaking up something fresh.

I am also proud of myself for doing just that – soaking up something fresh.  At a time in my life when I could easily sit back and become lazy, both in terms of my personal growth and career, it is satisfying to my soul to not do either.  And to top it off, Hugo wrote me a beautiful card the other day, which was accompanied by a bouquet of colorful flowers and a delicious dinner, that said how proud he was of me and that I am an inspiration.  While that isn’t my goal, it makes my internal smile shine bright knowing that my partner is impressed with my pursuits.

As a parting, extremely girly, side note – I was about to spell check this post and sling it your way when a tv ad fulfilled its mission and caught my attention.  Within seconds I found myself scrolling through the advertised website – FabFitFun.  It is actually a really fun idea, that I may just order for myself.  In a nutshell, for roughly $50 per shipment, four times per year, a young lady, or young man (or old folks for that matter!), gets a box delivered with a varied assortment of premium products, such as makeup, clothing, and accessories.  The unknown factor is what always interests me about business ideas like this, because it exposes the recipient to items they may not otherwise discover through their routine shopping excursions.  Anyways, that was a little off topic but I thought I would share it because it looks like fun.  Oh, before I forget, the ad mentioned using code PARTY for $10 off…enjoy! ♥

Insecto del amor

Time stops for no one,

time eventually runs out for all.

Before I truly started life, I found you,

into an enthralling world of love I fall.

 

We grew and thankfully grew together,

like a vine I raveled tightly on

the sturdy shelter found in your shoulders,

my solo wander and lonely existence was gone.

 

It isn’t always easy and I wouldn’t want it if it was.

You push me with your passion for me, for life,

have shown me how strength in character, purpose and love

feels on my skin.  Thankful to be your wife.

 

♥ Written on Thursday, August 29th, 2019, at 8:45pm – missing Hugo as he worked a sixteen hour shift at work.

 

Love & nourishment

I am sure you have gathered that Hugo is nothing short of a fantastic, near -perfect husband by now and you wouldn’t not be wrong in that assessment.  I only say ‘near-perfect’ because we are all human and none of us are perfect; should one come close though, it would be my Hugo.  Throughout the past fifteen years together, he has only grown more loving, thoughtful and caring, about both my wants and needs.  One of my recent ‘wants’ has been an easy transition into vegetarianism and thankfully Hugo has also embraced this lifestyle change with open and willing arms.

Because he loves to cook (and I love to eat), Hugo has been making some delicious, meat-free meals for his love bug (yes, that’s me).  I decided it would be nice to share some of those recipes here, in hopes of bringing a little more vegetarian love into your home this weekend.

A few weeks ago, Hugo made Chef John’s Mushroom Burgers and they were to die for.  Pan fry and pair them with some sliced avocado, sauteed onions, melted cheese and a toasted brioche bun and you have yourself one of the best and healthiest burger options possible.

After basking in mushroom burger-goodness for three solid days, Hugo decided to make Bon Appetit’s version of Ratatouille Pasta.  This perfect blend of late Summer veggies transform into a decadent and satisfying dish, unlike any other veggie pasta meal we have had.

My hope in sharing these recipes is that someone, or a few someones, out there, in the great big world, will find some joy and healthy nourishment out of food that is both good for the body and our struggling planet.  Just this week, one of the largest headlines concerns the fact that the Amazon rain forest is burning down, due to farmers clearing land to raise cattle.  While we all know growing food and raising animals require cleared pastures and fields, it is disturbing and sad to see our of our most bio-diverse areas, that is responsible for producing 20% of the world’s oxygen, disappearing at an alarming rate.

If not for your health, or the animal welfare aspect, of choosing to be vegetarian, maybe, just maybe, do it for our planet.  We are all in this together and if we don’t start making decisions as individuals for the greater good, we are all going to be royally fucked.

 

My beautiful puppy

20181223_132103 (1)
Her first bath after arriving at her new home – December 23rd, 2018.

Koa is already nine months old and while we have only had her for seven of those 9 months, time has certainly flown by.  Last year at this time, Kaiser and Nala went downhill fast, back to back, and by the Fall of 2018 we were without our doggies.  It is incredible how we are all capable of loving, suffering loss, grieving and eventually, however hard as the while process may have been, moving on.  I longed for little Koa, and later Gunner, in our lives and I am thankful every day for their love and companionship.  So for today, here is a little tribute to my beautiful puppy – Koa the Boa (or so she was dubbed when she got feisty as a 15 lb armful at twelve weeks), born November 5th, 2018.

20181226_134623
You have filled a hole in my heart.

Sharks in the ocean = KK is a land animal

I need to start out by saying that I love and respect sharks, as I do all animals.  I can’t say the same for all human beings, who can be inherently evil and nasty to one another at times.  Animals, on the other hand, are innocent and just trying to survive, without any malicious intent.  With that said, I have a couple of fears in life.  None of my fears are truly debilitating but I do get extremely anxious and uncomfortable in water deeper than my boobs.  Ok, maybe my belly button…but who’s counting.

Something about the unknown of what lies beneath the water line or just out of sight.  I am the person that gets wildly freaked out when a small branch brushes their leg in waist-deep water, immediately panicking and believing I am being attacked by a sea monster of sorts (again, I would still respect said sea monster).  Seconds later, when the culprit is identified as a sunken, 3-inch branch, I not only feel foolish but I also feel safe.  Needless to say, the ocean is not my jam and I am okay with that.  Everyone has their likes and dislikes and I have come to find out, after my thirty-five solid years of walking on terra firma, that I am a land animal, tried and true.

Hugo and I have spent many day trips and relaxing vacations at the beach and I enjoy every second of it.  As most people do, I enjoy the fresh air, the scenic beauty, and the calming sound of the methodical ocean.  Hugo lives to fish (and would fish to live if he had to) so he spends most of his time doing just that.  I am happy when he is happy so as he fishes I normally lay in the sun, walk the beach or stand by his side, simply pleased to be close to him and the ocean.

Now, with all of that said and done, it is important to note that Hugo loves to swim in the ocean and he will swim, dive, snorkel, explore and even paddle hunks of shark bait 100 yards out on a boogie board, so he can effectively shark fish from the Florida shoreline when there with our family.  Yes, this happened…and it happened in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, which I have recently come to find out is known as the Shark Bite Capital of the World.  At the time of our beach house rental with Hugo’s family and my mother a couple of years ago, I had no idea.  If I had, I would have gone into protective mode of my prized Hugo and really tried my best to keep him safe and out of the water.  He probably wouldn’t have listened but it would have been worth a shot.  After all, I happen to like the guy and want him around forever.

This came to mind as we have rounded out Shark Week 2019 and I realized as I wrote this post that I fashioned a similar excerpt last year at this time.  For someone who is scared of the ocean depths, I have a tremendous amount of love for the magnificent predatory animals that call the ocean their home.  Now if only we could choose who the sharks bite (maybe one of our recent murderous mass shooters), the world would be a little closer to fair and just.