I have to do this

Not to take away any of the seriousness of my feelings but, and I quote my all-time, favorite movie Dumb & Dumber when I say, “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.”  No words have rang more true than those do right now.  November 5th, 2019.  Los Angeles, California, United States of America.  I am thirty-five years old and happily married.  I have a solid, stable career that, while it may be frustrating at times (let’s be honest, whose career isn’t?), provides for a wonderful life.  It didn’t come easily and I have earned every moment of it.  Irregardless of that, I am pursuing yet another professional advancement for myself.  Rooted in a genuine interest in real estate, I am mere moments away from finishing my third and final required course in pursuit of my California salesperson license in real estate.

After tackling and completing my Bachelor’s degree this past Spring, I am proud of myself for striving for my real estate license and happy on the inside that this new pursuit is almost complete.  Once my classes are done, I will get fingerprinted (which is then run through the FBI database to ensure I am not a murderous, raping thief), identify if I want to be signed on with a broker from the beginning, and provide the details behind my college-age DUI arrest.  While I regard it as one of the lowest and most shameful moments in my life thus far, it certainly pushed me to learn and make significant behavioral and mental changes.  If not for my DUI, I may not be where I am today and, for that, I am oddly thankful.

Needless to say, I have been busy during the past year.  Just prior to my return to college in the Fall of 2018, I had my fifth knee surgery in July.  And just prior to that surgery, I had gotten into the best shape of my life.  What started out as a weight-loss challenge among co-workers, turned into a breakthrough journey of personal triumph.  For years I had wanted it and last Summer I finally got it;  ‘it’ being a substantial weight loss and, more importantly, the best version of me.  I became disciplined, focused and inspiring to myself.  I forged a path on my own, creating a meal plan, a rhythm, and an entirely new life.  I lost 22 pounds and I gained a renewed vision of happiness, sexiness, and joy in achieving my goals.

And then I threw it all away.  Not right away and not all at once but, maybe even worse, I tossed it out slowly.  I went back to my old ways of doing things, I gave up my focus and all of the positive, self-taught lessons went with it.  I quit on myself, despite telling myself so many times that I wouldn’t, not anymore.  It angers and saddens me because we should be our own biggest supporters in life – after all, we only have one body and one life.  Such an easy principle, yet it is outrageously difficult to abide by.

So here I am, on November 5th, 2019, weighing more than I would like to.  Here I am, putting it all out there – on the scale, on the blog, and off my conscious.  I know that I found my motivation before and I will muster it up again.  I also know that I developed a plan that worked.  If I am able to implement my plan again, I will once again prove that I am strong and capable of anything.  I will also prove that my plan works and if it works for me, it just might work for you.  But before I get ahead of myself, let me officially kick off my journey once more.

I will weigh in tomorrow morning and many mornings after that.  I will follow my diet, track my intake, make wise choices and keep pushing forward.  I will invest in myself and, in turn, I will invest in my relationship, my family, my job, my friends, and my future, because by being the best version of me, I am able to give that best version to all of those that I touch.  By loving me and continuing to improve my existence, I will be better equipped to love those around me (that means you Hugo).

So, I leave you with my excitement and fear, as well as my will to succeed.  I will take it one day at a time and keep you updated along the way.  Trust and believe that I will succeed – we only have one life to live and one body to live it in so why not make ’em the best we can.

P.S.:  Sorry for the long hiatus.  Pray for rain in California, success on my journey, and more frequent posts to boot!

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